Bethe bethe kya kare, karna hai kuch kaam, jaldi jaldi karlo bache leke samaajh ka naam. Sounds a lot like our society’s motto, doesn’t it? Somehow, since we were young, the idea of marriage and kids have been mutually exclusive to us. For the longest time, I believed that I needed a husband to raise a child and vice versa. And somehow, the moment a couple decides to get married, society decides to give their unwarranted input on how and when a couple should decide to have children. For example: the marriage advice that Sanjay Dutt gave Alia Bhatt and Ranbir Kapoor for their marriage is to “make kids soon” while blessing them to be happy. The latter part is sweet but not the former. Also, Ranbir’s jijaji Bharat Sahni, wished the couples on Instagram with, “lots of babies”.
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Now, when I go on a rant about this, I do not mean to say that these people have bad intentions. I would like to believe that these people genuinely wish the couple well and want the best for them. However, I am trying to question the mentality and thought process that exists behind such statements. In our society, the whole biwi-bache concept goes hand in hand. As if one is necessary to exist for the other to be valid. As someone who grew up with a grandmother who was a single mother, I feel that this is pretty demeaning to those who did not have the stereotypical “complete” family. Is a couple not a family enough? Why is having a child necessary for the couple to be “complete” or “happy”? And what if they don’t want children? Does that invalidate their entire relationship?
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Okay, coming to my next point, I genuinely believe that some decisions that happen in a marriage are just between the couple only and having children is up there. So why should anyone outside of the relationship comment upon the couple’s choice regarding if, when and how they have children. I believe that these good-intentioned wishes put pressure on the couple for no reason when the decision is solely theirs.
So, a rundown of what I ranted about here: let’s not push couples into having children, even though well wishes. Secondly, a family can exist without children and just the couple. Lastly, how and when a couple chooses to have children is solely their choice and we should stay out of that decision and not push these ideas on them.
PS Sab apne apne bacho ka dhyaan rakho aur agar na ho toh khud kar lo!
